Feelings

I feel sick. and im not sure where. My back feels heavy and my shoulders are free. I feel sick in my brain too. I'm in a bad shape.

What is actually wrong. I feel there are many things I need to do and have them done and I feel I'm in the position to have them done in the nearest future. But at the same time I feel these things can wait and there are really lame excuses came to support my procrastination. I feel like life is running and running and I'm inside the wheel upside down and really in a bad shape. I feel I'm running for nothing..or for what? I'm not sure.

Aaah I'm tired of all these feelings.

I feel like I'm running not knowing why I have to. What is actually I'm running for? What is awaiting me? Is it still far away or am I reaching soon? Where the line is going to stop me. I have the same speed and I just cant slow down. I feel fixed.

I feel like something is going to happen or maybe it is just my miserable thoughts over all these feelings make me feel so. Sometimes I feel I just wana breakdown but even if I breakdown my feet are still running and it will just make running difficult. I'm fixed.

But then I feel like I'm ok. Just run and breath. Just let time stops me and let time explains me. Just let something to happen at its comfort.

The more I grow the more I feel like I don't want anything in this life. What I need is just food, a place to live and some money to work out my passions. Work to fill in the blank times.

But my heart is made of a rare material. It is a stubborn heart that wants something more than what I think I need. The blood that supplies it has got the genes. I can feel the genes are kicking me greatly. I just can't ignore my genes.

I'm just tired of worrying about my future. I wana trust time to take me where I have to be.

I wana do the right thing with all things I have in hands right now.

I can still wait to get over this running thing. I want to walk and walk calmly and breath the fresh air. I know if I walk right now I won't reach coz I'm already late.

One day I will be able to walk. I just have to run on the track. It is not about patience because I know I have enough stock of patience in the store for me to get there wherever whenever it is.

I need calories. I need food. I can't run without energy. and I have to run.